In honor of Valentine’s Day tomorrow, I thought I’d write a fun listy-post about fictional leading men. Now, I’m a sucker for romance. There’s nothing I love more than a good love story, where a swoon-worthy gentleman does everything he can to win the hand of his special lady. But sometimes, right in the middle of all the warm fuzzies, a little voice whispers, Wow, that guy would be a terrible boyfriend in real life.
So, this is my paean to all the handsome fictional boyfriends out there who also happen to be obsessed, emotionally manipulative, or just plain damaged. I love you, but I wouldn’t want to date you.
Damon Salvatore, from The Vampire Diaries
9 am? Time for a scotch and a blood bag.
Oh Damon. From the moment you swaggered onto our screens looking like a slightly sinister young Rob Lowe we couldn’t resist you. Your smoldering baby blues pierce us to our souls and your abs are splendid. Your undying (pun intended) devotion to Elena Gilbert makes us feel all fluttery and warm inside. Your day-drinking is as endearing as your penchant for breaking peoples’ necks.
Oh, wait. Maybe not that last one. On top of being an alcoholic and a blood-oholic, Damon also seems to really enjoy killing people, especially if, God forbid, they annoy him. He tends to show zero remorse, even when the new corpse in question is a friend or relative. Damon also spends a solid three seasons trying to steal his brother’s girlfriend, after spending one hundred and fifty years holding a torch for the evil vampire who lied to him, betrayed him, and turned him into a vampire against his will. So yeah, he’s beautiful, but that hardly makes up for being an obsessive sociopath with a rage problem.